The Worst Tits, Best Celebrity Nip Slips / Celeb Slips, and Most Improved Boobs of 2007

I know there’s still more than three months to go before 2007 ends, but there’s no harm in listing down some of the celebrity body parts that have kept us occupied us this year, is there? Perhaps the last quarter of the year might yield better results, but for now, these are, so far, what I consider the worst tits, the best celebrity slips (nipple and otherwise), and the most improved boobs of 2007. (I'm obsessed, aren't I?)

THE WORST TITS

1. Kirsten Dunst

The last time I checked, Kirsten Dunst is 25 years old. Her boobs, however, are 50 years old. When she reaches 50, her boobs will be….oh well, you get the picture.

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2. Uma Thurman

A combination of motherhood, age and gravity has finally taken its toll on Uma Thurman. Her funbags are no longer that fun. But I’d still hit that. She’s still Uma Thurman for crying out loud.

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3. Teri Hatcher

Her boobs aren’t exactly visible here, but just looking at that droopy cleavage is enough to tell me that the 42-year-old Teri Hatcher is going the way of the 51-year-old Mimi Rogers, whose saggy tits I couldn’t get out of my head.

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THE BEST NIPPLE SLIPS

1. Petra Nemcova

I’m not sure if this pic was taken this year, but who cares? It doesn’t even show that much, but we’re talking about the most gorgeous tsunami and James Blunt survivor here, dammit! Any Petra slip, nipple or otherwise, will always be tops for me and millions of guys out there.

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2. Ashlee Simpson

It’s said to be officially the first nip slip of the year, so I guess that makes this Ashlee slip special.

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3. Emmanuelle Chriqui

Not really a good picture, but it’s Emmanuelle Chriqui all right, with a really pokey and succulent upturned nipple. Somewhere out there, boys are using up their entire month’s supply of Kleenex.

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THE BEST CELEBRITY SLIPS

Sure, Britney Spears flashed her hairless vag again right after the MTV VMAs, but Britney pussy is so last year. Here are three better celebrity crotch / ass shots this year. And by better I mean non-vomit-inducing.

1. Joss Stone

An inch higher and we’ll have a barely 20-year-old beaver shot.

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2. Dita Von Teese

Never mind the dirty shoes. At least the former Mrs. Marilyn Manson gets that darn Britney crotch shot out of our minds, even for just a little while.

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3. Evangeline Lilly

This one’s real cute, waves slamming down on this “Lost” hottie hard enough to show everybody a piece of that ass. Too bad it’s a Hobbit that’s riding it on a regular basis.

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MOST IMPROVED BOOBS

1. Heidi Montag

This reality star is lucky she had one good plastic surgeon do her much-publicized makeover. Wait, did I just use the word ‘star’ on Heidi Montag? Damn, I must have forgotten my medication this morning.

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2. Paris Hilton (sorry, this photoset is reversed)

One minute she’s got so-so boobs, then wham! She’s all over town sporting cleavage that could only be described as amazing. Paris Hilton didn’t get a boob job though, if we take her word for it. It’s all just because of a very expensive bra, she says. So I guess when some guy takes that bra off, he’s gonna be hit in the face with a boobie whiplash, because that’s how tight Paris’ boobs seem to be coiled up inside it.

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3. Kellie Pickler

Blonde hair, big boobs, small brain. Enough said.

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