There are just too many things wrong with Transformers: Dark of the Moon that they can actually be desensitizing, especially when the entire Internet is filled with nothing but loathing for it. So, for the sake of positivity, which my shrink says I need loads of, I’m listing the things that I actually DID LIKE about the movie, terrible filmmaking notwithstanding.

For those fortunate enough not to have seen the latest (and thankfully, THE LAST) Transformers movie yet but are still planning to go, some SPOILERS AHEAD.

1. Alan Tudyk

Sci-fi TV and Joss Whedon fave Tudyk plays John Turturro’s effete assistant Dutch, who for the briefest of moments channels his character Alpha from the now-cancelled series Dollhouse and transforms into a badass.

2. People are actually getting offed onscreen

Sure, there were some deaths in the first two movies, but this is actually the first time you see people actually bite it, when they get vaporized instantly a la War of the Worlds as Decepticons hit them with direct fire.

3. Rosie Huntington-Whitely

A supermodel with the acting talent of the runway she regularly sashays on, she is, for me, actually hotter than Megan Fox. Kinda reminds me of a young Cameron Diaz in The Mask.

4. The special effects. Duh.

5. Ken Jeong

Whether he’s playing a medieval live action RPG king or a naked Chinese gangster locked in a car trunk, Jeong will always be a hoot, even when his few minutes in this movie ended when he was shoved by a Decepticon through an office window and onto the pavement a few hundred or so feet below.

6. Patrick Dempsey as a bad guy

And a really bad bad guy at that, because McDreamy’s selling everybody, and I mean EVERYBODY, out to the Decepticons.

7. That random wind-blown newspaper that smacked Patrick Dempsey right in the face as he was monologuing.

8. The chance for a nap

This movie was extremely DULL in certain stretches that I actually found myself catching much-needed zzzs inside the theater.

How about you? Got anything nice to say about DOTM?

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Almost every single pro sports team has its own group of cheerleaders. Over the years, a number of its members have gone on to become famous. Some of the ten listed below have become familiar faces, while some are outright household names.

1. Paula Abdul

She is without doubt the most successful former professional sports cheerleader of all time. Before she sold more than 50 million albums despite being not much of a singer, and sat as the mumbling and perpetually drunk/stoned judge of American Idol for eight seasons, she was a Laker Girl, and was even its head choreographer for years.

2. Teri Hatcher

If you’ve wondering where Desperate Housewives star Teri Hatcher got those moves she does in Tango and Cash, here’s your answer: She was a member of the San Francisco 49ers cheering squad. Before that, she shook her pom-poms for her high school, and was even named most likely to become a Solid Gold Dancer. She didn’t of course, but instead became a solid gold TV star.

3. Sarah Shahi

Amid a disappointing season, Sarah Shahi gave Dallas Cowboys fans something to cheer about. From 1999-2000, she was a member of the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders, arguably the best known of all NFL cheerleading squads. She appeared on the cover of the DCC’s calendar before moving to Hollywood, where she eventually became one of the most beautiful faces on television today. She starred in the now-defunct NBC drama series Life, and is currently playing the lead in Fairly Legal, a legal drama airing on the USA Network.

4. Charisma Carpenter

Before she made jaws drop as Sunnydale High’s resident shallow cheerleader Cordelia Chase in Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Charisma Carpenter was a cheerleader for the San Diego Chargers in 1991, just before she moved to Los Angeles to embark on a Hollywood career.

5. Trista Sutter

Trista Sutter holds some sort of record in the history of reality TV for starring in the first seasons of both The Bachelor and its companion show, The Bachelorette. Known as Trista Rehn then, she was one of the final two contestants of the former, while she was chosen as the star of the latter. In both shows, it was very apparent that she had one hot body, obviously honed by her stint as a Miami Heat Dancer. Her televised wedding to The Bachelorette winner Ryan Sutter drew more than 26 million viewers, one of the biggest audiences for a reality TV show.

6. Stacy Keibler

Pro wrestling fans have long worshipped Stacy Keibler for her unusually long legs. Pro football fans from Baltimore, however, have had first crack at those lovely gams as she pepped them up as a member of the Baltimore Ravens Cheerleaders.

7. Kiana Tom

Former Oakland Raiderette Kiana Tom became famous for her ESPN fitness series, Kiana’s Flex Appeal. She continued to build on her reputation as a fitness guru by starring in other ESPN produced shows Kiana’s Too Fit 2 Quit, Summer Sizzle with Kiana & Hot Summer Nights with Kiana. She is also an actress, starring alongside Jean-Claude Van Damme in Universal Soldier: The Return.

8. Kristin Adams

Yet another Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader makes this list in the person of Kristin Adams née Holt. Her first shot at fame was in the first season of American Idol, where she was a semi-finalist. She later became a correspondent for the show, a job which would prove to be quite useful in her future endeavors. She blossomed into a good host, and G4 TV wasted no time in hiring her as host of Cheat!, a show where video game cheats and strategies are featured and discussed. She also currently co-hosts the USA Network show Character Fantasy.

9. Lisa Guerrero

Back when Los Angeles had two professional football teams, Lisa Guerrero was a cheerleader for the LA Rams, before the franchise moved to St. Louis. Currently one of the top sportscasters in the United States, she is most famous for her stint on The Best Damn Sports Show Period on Fox Sports. She’s also an actress, appearing in movies such as Batman Returns and Fire Down Below.

10. Bonnie-Jill Laflin

Bonnie-Jill Laflin was a cheerleader not just for one team of one sport, but for three different teams of two different sports. Before she became the NBA’s hottest, first ever and only female scout working for the Los Angeles Lakers front office, she was a cheerleader for the Golden State Warriors, the San Francisco 49ersand the Dallas Cowboys. Aside from currently holding a top position in one of professional sports’ most legendary franchises, she is also an actress, model and soon-to-be reality star, with a reality show based on her successful career in the male-dominated world of professional sports.

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P.S: These are my favorite Ryan Dunn moments. If you feel like I missed a stunt or posted lame ones here, go say so in the comments or make your own list.

10. Super Mighty Glue

The most disturbing and hysterical use of super glue, ever.

9. BMX Tug-of War

Ryan Dunn crashing his bicycle onto cacti.

8. Jet Engine

An excellent recreation of that classic Maxell tape commercial, complete with hair, shades, couch plus jet engine.

7. Ass Kicked By Girl

Dunn gets beat up by a girl. Well, a muscular, well trained, and champion kickboxer girl, but a girl nonetheless.

6. Stilt Boxing

Sorry for the video quality. It’s the only video of this insane boxing match between Dunn and Steve-O that I could find.

5. The Rocket Cart

My favorite stunt from Jackass 2.

4. Ryan Dunn Downs An Entire Bottle of Tequila

Yet another sign of things to come for Dunn.

3. Ryan Dunn crashes golf cart

Never has that comment about Dunn’s driving sounded more ominous.

2. Poo Dive

The Jackass crew has done a lot of disgusting stuff over the years, but “Poo Dive”, Dunn’s first ever stunt for the series, is the shit, quite literally. Wearing only white briefs, flippers and a snorkel he dove into a sewage tank, effectively setting the bar high when it comes vomit-inducing Jackass antics.

1. Butt X-ray

In the, er, annals of Jackassery, this is Ryan Dunn’s defining moment, the one he will forever be remembered for. His ticket to immortality.

Like so many before them, these child actors from the 1990s shed their clothes and even did some nasty onscreen stuff to obliterate whatever memory people had of them as cute little children. And boy, did that work.

10. Lindsay Lohan

First known for: Playing twins in 1998’s The Parent Trap, made when she was 11.

Gone naked in: New York Magazine in 2008, not to mention countless lip and nip slips.

9. Leelee Sobieski

First known for: Being a skinny 15-year old in Jungle2Jungle, a 1997 Hollywood remake of a French film.

Gone naked in: the 2001 TV movie Uprising, and later in 2002’s L’Idole (The Idol).

8. Lacey Chabert

First known for: The Fox drama series Party of Five, where she played 11-year child prodigy Claudia Salinger

Gone naked in: 2002’s The Scoundrel’s Wife

7. Natalie Portman

First known for: playing a 12-year-old girl whose entire family gets murdered in Leon (The Professional).

Gone naked in: more like showcased her bare ass in Hotel Chevalier, from 2007.

6. Kirsten Dunst

First known for: her portrayal of a vicious vampire trapped in a 10-year-old’s body in Interview With the Vampire.

Gone naked in: Last year’s All Good Things.

5. Christina Ricci

First known for: playing Wednesday Addams to creepy perfection in two Addams Family films in the 1990s.

Gone naked in: 2001’s Prozac Nation, and even more so in Black Snake Moan from 2006.

4.Thora Birch

First known for: Playing the 10-year-old daughter of Jack Ryan, Harrison Ford’s character, in Patriot Games

Gone naked in: American Beauty, although she was still underage when she did it.

3. Madeline Zima

First known for: being the youngest of the Sheffield siblings in Fran Drescher’s 90s sitcom The Nanny.

Gone naked in: The Showtime comedy series Californication, where she f**ked and punched David Duchovny as an underage teenager.

2. Anna Paquin

First known for: Winning an Oscar at the age of 11 for her performance as the precocious daughter of Holly Hunter’s mute character in 1993’s The Piano.

Gone naked in: HBO’s vampire drama series True Blood. Multiple times. In really sexy sex scenes.

1. Shawna Waldron

First known for: playing “Icebox”, the 12-year-old tomboy daughter of Rick Moranis’ character in the 1994 family movie Little Giants. Also played the First Daughter in The American President opposite Michael Douglas.

Gone naked in: The straight to DVD sequel Poison Ivy: The Secret Society.

Why she’s no. 1: Because unlike the other girls on this list, her naked performance got the closest to being soft porn. Wait. It IS soft porn!

1. Jordin Sparks

This American Idol promised years ago that she wouldn’t have sex until she’s married. She still hasn’t gotten hitched.

2. The Williams Sisters

Serena once dated Common, one of the best looking guys in the world of hip-hop music. Venus, on the other hand, has a long-time boyfriend in American pro golfer Hank Kuehne. I call BS on this one.

3. Julianne Hough

Gorgeous as this performing triple-threat is, I believe she’s still a virgin, at least since April 2010, when she started dating Ryan Seacrest.

4. Teyana Taylor

She once dated an NBA player whose name escapes me at the moment, and Chris Brown. Doubting this one.

5. Angela Simmons

Unlike other American socialites, Angela Simmons swears she’s still a virgin. But Bow Wow’s tweet about her changed all that. Now all she needs to do is make her own sex tape and she’ll make good company for other more infamous American socialites.

6. The Jonas Brothers

These brothers made a lot of noise a few years ago when they brandished purity rings and declared they would never have sex until they get married. Kevin Jonas got married in 2009, so he’s out. Joe Jonas dated Camilla Belle, Demi Lovato and is currently seeing Twilight star Ashley Greene. All three are hotties who never made such a fuss about their virginity, so unless Joe is secretly rooting for the other team, he’s probably popped the proverbial cherry by now. That leaves us with Nick, who has dated Miley Cyrus, another celebrity “virgin”. Make of that what you will.

7. Taylor Swift

She was linked to John Mayer, so all we need to do is wait for the douche to give a lengthy interview again for the details.

8. Selena Gomez

With pictures of her cavorting with The Bieber in the Caribbean, that probably means Selena’s already broken her vow to remain a virgin until marriage. We just didn’t expect that she was into girl-on-girl action.

9. Miley Cyrus

Her claim is made all the more solid by her penchant for posting sexy pictures of herself. Go figure.

10. Dakota Fanning

Now here’s something that’s believable. Dakota promised her mom that she won’t let her inner genie in a bottle out until she’s 18. Awww that’s sweet. Buying it. Totally.

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Part 1 Nipple Slips Video Collection 1-25

1. Michelle Hunziker’s Split-Second Slip

The Swiss beauty’s slipup takes all of a second. And it’s the most popular of all the clips in this list, with over 18 million views.

2. Avril Lavigne and Her Taped Boobies

That was actually tape, wasn’t it?

3. Marian Rivera

Tune out the terrible music and the atrocious singing and the cheesy dance. All that matters is this Filipina celebrity’s top falling off towards the end.

4. Beyonce Slips Again

This time, however, it’s of a hotter kind, nothing painful or embarrassing or anything.

5. Natalie Portman on Letterman

There’s a slip alright, but through some thin garment inside Natalie’s blouse. More like a pokey to me.

6. Geri Halliwell’s Ginger Tits

Thankfully, this happened when she was actually hot.

7. The Price is Oh-so Right

This one’s courtesy of one of Bob Barker’s girls, who aren’t exactly celebs, but were TV regulars just the same. Now if only someone would digitally remove that party pooping title logo…

8. Emma Watson Downblouse

Nice peek down the dress of the prettiest movie witch ever. And it’s all legal now.

9. Ameesha Patel

Bollywood actress shows her stuff, accidentally of course, in a movie.

10. Aishwarya Rai

Whoever uploaded this video forgot to put a “Telescope Required” notice in the description. But this Bollywood superstar’s slipup is there.

11. Emma Bunton and her Babies

Yet another Spice Girl nipslip.

12. Caroline Flack’s Nips Take a Peek

British childrens’ television host showing something kids aint supposed to see.

13. Salma Hayek’s Watermelons on German TV

OK, so there’s not really much of a nipslip here unless you have a very active imagination, but who needs imagination when you have two lovely melons that look like they’re about to burst in Karl Lagerfeld’s face?

14. Another Lindsay Lohan Ooops

It’s strange the uploader called the video a “A SUPER RARE OOPS”, when “oopses” are the rule, rather than the exception, as far as Lindsay’s concerned.

15. Luningning

Over the top dancing leads to a nipple slip courtesy of this popular TV Game Show dancer in the Philippines.

16. Manisha Koirala

What is it with Indian films and long distance boob slip shots? This Nepali-Indian actress’ right tit certainly pops out while running, but the camera’s too far away to get a decent shot.

17. Sophie Marceau Boob Slip Redux

Braveheart star shows her left can at Cannes. This was already posted eons ago somewhere on this blog, but it still deserves a place on this list.

18. Nikki Cox Tease

This one’s straight out of an episode of the defunct TV series Las Vegas. You gotta be real quick though to catch it.

19. Eva Mendes’ Nipple Says Hello

With that dress, she is obviously asking for it.

20. Madonna Shakes her Jugs

This was way back when Madonna still had yummy breasts. One question though: What’s up with the ABBA soundtrack???

21. Tara Reid Too Drunk to Notice Her Dress Fall

This is a clip of her nasty boob slip at a P. Diddy party ages ago.

22. Cameron Diaz Slips a Pokey Nip

Leno spent the better part of this interview talking to his desk. Headlights can really be disconcerting, especially when they’re practically right in your face.

23. Paris Hilton, For the Nth Time

She really does this on purpose, attention whore that she is.

24. Pamela Anderson

This is the best way to look at Pamela Anderson’s nipples. In the dark.

25. Mystery Celeb’s Nipple Slips Out, and Stays Out

No idea who she is or what country she’s a famous person in, but her nipple has already introduced itself to the world. If you know its owner, please say so in the comments!

Part 2 Nip Slip Videos 26-50

More Coming Soon!

History has proven that just about anyone can be a rapist. The news is often replete with stories of fathers raping their daughters, friendly neighbors brutally attacking the girl next door, etc. In the same vein, anyone can also become a victim. Just like these murdered celebrities, these famous women are a testament that heinous crimes can happen to just about anyone.

1. Billie Holiday

One of the most influential jazz artists of all time, Billie Holiday was molested at the age of 10. A few years later, she was raped by a neighbor named Wilbert Rich, who was caught in the act by the singer’s mother. The rapist was thrown in jail, but only spent three months there.

2. Fiona Apple

When she was 12, Grammy-winning singer-songwriter Apple was raped just outside her family’s house. Her traumatic experience was subtly referenced in the song “Sullen Girl”.

3. Fran Drescher

The star of the defunct sitcom “The Nanny” was brutally raped in 1985 by two armed robbers that broke into the apartment she was sharing with her husband, Peter Marc Jacobson, who was beaten up and made to witness the entire ordeal. It took her many years to recover from the rape.

4. Oprah Winfrey

Oprah may be the one of the world’s richest and most powerful women today, but her childhood was, for lack of a better word, pure hell. On top of the poverty she was born into, she was also raped at the age of nine.

5. Kelly McGillis

In 1982, the star of “Top Gun” and a female friend, who she later admitted to have been her lesbian lover at the time, suffered a brutal sexual assault. Two young men broke into McGillis’ New York apartment, tied the two women up and threatened to beat them to death, and raped them both at knifepoint. This ordeal served as her motivation when she played the prosecutor who sent the rapists of Jodie Foster’s character to jail in “The Accused”.

6. Gabrielle Union

When she was 19, “Bring It On” actress Gabrielle Union was beaten and raped at gunpoint while working a part time job at a shoe store. The brutal rape and beating took place in 1992, years before Hollywood beckoned.

7. Connie Francis

Singer Connie Francis was attacked right at the motel where she was staying while performing at a music festival in New York in 1974. Her room at the Howard Johnson’s Lodge was broken into by a still unidentified assailant, a fact which was instrumental to her winning a multimillion dollar judgment in the case she subsequently filed against the motel chain for failing to provide adequate security. She was so traumatized by the rape that she did not perform again for seven years.

8. Teri Hatcher

“Desperate Housewives” star Teri Hatcher confessed to Vanity Fair in March 2006 that she was a victim of sexual abuse by Richard Hayes Stone, an uncle by marriage. Her ordeal started at the age of five, and went on for several years. She never spoke publicly of the rape until she learned that a recent victim of Stone’s committed suicide at the age of 14. Hatcher assisted prosecutors with their indictment of Stone, who later pleaded guilty and was eventually sentenced to 14 years in jail. She is now actively involved in encouraging other rape victims to come forward and stop blaming themselves.

9. Maya Angelou

Celebrated autobiographer and poet Maya Angelou was eight when her mother’s boyfriend raped her. Unlike many rape victims, she readily told the rest of her family about her ordeal. Although the rapist, a Mr. Freeman, was eventually found guilty, his stay in prison lasted all of a single day. But justice outside the justice system was swift. Four days after he was released from prison, Freeman was found dead, apparently kicked to death by the poet’s uncles.

10. Tori Amos

Singer Tori Amos was raped at knifepoint by a male fan who asked her for a ride after a performance. Her suffering lasted for hours, with her attacker constantly telling her that he would bring her to his friends and cut her up. Amos says, “I survived that torture, which left me urinating all over myself and left me paralyzed for years.”.
Her ordeal served as the inspiration behind her song “Me and A Gun, while the very powerful song “Silent All These Years” has become associated with the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network (RAINN ), a toll-free help line in the US for abuse victims that Amos cofounded in 1994.

Sources

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I believe our moms told us it’s mean to laugh when someone trips and falls. Sorry Mom.

10. Joe Jonas of the Jonas Brothers

He is said to have actually cut his hand on the broken glass with this fall. Imagine if he fell face first.

9. Bono

Bono’s human after all.

8. Michelle Williams of Destiny’s Child

The professionalism of Beyoncé and Kelly are so apparent on their faces you can bet Michelle would have been stage roadkill had she blocked their path when she fell.

7. Robbie Williams

I think everyone here will applaud had this been a face plant.

6. Axl Rose

Axl probably thought he was gonna go knockin’ on heaven’s door after that nasty fall.

5. Bret Michaels

The Tony Awards is lucky Michaels decided not to sue them after getting clotheslined by their stage.

4. Steven Tyler

“Love In An Elevator / Livin’ it up when I’m goin’ down / Love In An Elevator / Lovin’ it up till I hit the ground”. Except he took the scenic route, not the elevator.

3. Demi Lovato

This kid seems to have a habit of falling down onstage. This is just one of them.

2. Shakira

This clip don’t lie. That was a face plant, and that’s gotta hurt.

1. Beyoncé

Count on Beyoncé to take headbanging to a whole new level.

But while I loved the show, there a number of things about it that left me scratching my head even when I’m dandruff free.  As the show comes to an end next month after eight seasons, it’s only fitting that I list them, 24 of them to be exact. These will at least remind me not to miss the show so much when its trademark ticking goes silent and its digital clock finally winds down,  for good.

1. Jack Bauer’s cell phones have batteries that need no recharging whatsoever, not even after long / multiple calls or heavy media transmissions.

2. Jack Bauer doesn’t eat or drink.

3. Jack Bauer never takes a whizz.

4. Its habit of leaving the fate of certain important characters hanging in the air, like season 2 presidential advisor Lynne Kresge, season 4 terrorist spawn Behrooz Araz, Day 6 president Wayne Palmer,  and Martha Logan’s aide Evelyn Martin and his young daughter from season 5.

5. David Palmer is the second biggest jerk (next to Charles Logan) to ever become president, ordering a subordinate to kill himself because a terrorist asked him for it.

6. They killed off Michelle Dessler just when she was starting to show some skin. She was rockin’ pink spaghetti straps the morning she was blown to kingdom come, for chrissakes.

7. Speaking of hot women on the show, they just did what is probably the worst case of coitus interruptus on TV, with Renee Walker getting offed seconds after getting off with Jack Bauer.

8. They hand out immunity deals like they were lollipops to any hardcore terrorist who promises to “sing”, never mind if the guy killed a couple thousand Americans just a few hours ago.

9. Until recently, nobody, except for Chloe and a few other characters, ever believes or listens to Jack until it’s too late.

10. You’d think that Jack Bauer, who was imprisoned and tortured in China for almost two years before being  retrieved by the American government in time for Day 6, would at least show some signs of being traumatized by the ordeal. Instead, he got back into super agent mode in no time at all. But then again, HE IS Jack Bauer. Chuck Norris has nothing on this guy.

11. Kim Bauer, the aforementioned stupid daughter, became an analyst at CTU.

12. Dennis Hopper as main season 1 bad guy Victor Drazen.

13. Heroin is one of the toughest drugs to kick, but Jack easily shrugged it off. Then again, see no. 10.

14. Tony Almeida making like Jesus Christ.

15. Tony Almeida becoming a villain, a hero, then a villain again in less than 24 hrs.

16. The White House assault and hostage situation staged by an African commando team.

17. Graem Bauer. Not that the actor was doing a bad job, but because he looked and talked just like an ex-boss of mine, and made me wanna punch a hole through his face and my TV every single time he appears onscreen with that dang Bluetooth.

18. David and Sherry Palmer are fairly good looking, which is why the fact that they produced a son who looks like Keith makes us question everything we’ve been taught about genetics.

19. Pilots are so good they could land big ass planes on narrow strips of road.

20. The ease at which enemies could plant moles inside the supposedly COUNTER-Terrorist Unit.

21. In season 8, everybody, from ex-cons to bounty hunters, seems to know where CTU is and are even allowed inside the premises.

22. Jack Bauer being able to do undercover work despite having his face plastered all over TV screens during the Senate hearings in season 7.

23. The charisma-challenged Wayne Palmer became president.

24. Jack’s “I give you my word”, which he breaks more often than he keeps, unintentionally or otherwise.

Now let me remind you of the cliché that goes, “beauty is in the eyes of the beholder”. This is a highly subjective list, so if you wanna complain about my choices, or feel that your favorites were unfairly left out, feel free to hit the comments. And the list is completely random, so no complaints about ranking because the numbers aren’t exactly indicative of rank.

1. Georgia Jones

2. Ashlyn Rae

3. Ellie Idol

4. Faye Reagan

5. Lacie Heart

6. Lexi Belle

7. Mindy Vega

8. Sarah Blake

9. Sunny Leone

10. Tori Black

11. Danielle of FTV

12. Jayme Langford

13. Brooke Lee Adams

14. Raven Alexis

15. Ashlynn Brooke

16. Bree Olson

17. Sasha Grey

18. Stoya

19. Candace Cage

20. Jenni Lee