For the nth time, Britney Spears reportedly has a sex tape. Adnan Ghalib, the British pap who took advantage of her when she lost her hair and her mind eons ago, claims he has in his possession a two-hour sex tape featuring Britney, and will sell it for the right price.

He told Heat magazine: “There is such a tape, but I won’t discuss prices for hypothetical enquiries.

“Unless there is a locked-in deal, I will go no further.”

An unconfirmed source claims the two-hour X-rated footage features Britney naked wearing just a pink wig and was allegedly shot while on holiday in Mexico.

Adnan added: “I am not interested in selling out any other details about Britney. “ [source]

Awwww, how sweet. He’s so protective of Britney he won’t be selling any other details about her. Just hours of footage of the singer doing the nasty. But how many times have we heard that Britney has a sex tape? If Pamela Anderson has the most number of celebrity sex tapes released (she has two), then Britney holds the record for the most number of celebrity sex videos NOT released. All we have are claims, nothing solid, and it’s getting boring already.

For crying out loud, let’s have the sex tape and get this over with. Not that we’re so excited about it. With the shape Britney was in during that time, she probably looks like the guy in the Gene Simmons sex tape in it anyway.

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Red Light District, the same adult production company that brought us those Paris Hilton, Dustin “Screech” Diamond, Joanie “Chyna” Laurer, Joey Buttafuoco and Amy Fisher sex tapes, is reportedly offering $500,000 for the rights to distribute a celebrity sex tape featuring 30 Days of Night and Black Hawk Down star Josh Hartnett and a yet-unidentified woman having sex in, of all places, a London hotel library. Security cameras at the SoHo Hotel reportedly caught all the action. According to AVN:

“Josh and the girl were getting pretty hot and heavy,” a source told the Daily Mirror. “Their every spit and cough was recorded and cringing hotel workers saw all of Josh’s X-rated moves.”

Coughing? Spitting? Sounds like a nasty one. So what if it doesn’t star any of the female celebrities we’d love to see in a sex tape? We’ll take it over the Verne Troyer sex tape or the Gene Simmons sex video any day.

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Waking up to news that Verne Troyer, better known as Mini-Me from the Austin Powers movies isn’t exactly the best way to start a day, but then again, it’s a celebrity sex tape from someone who’s actually appeared in box-office hits, so we’ll take it.

Yep, you heard that right. TMZ has a mini clip of Mini-Me slipping the tongue to his girlfriend, identified as Ranae Shrider, a 22-year-old aspiring model from Kentucky. She looks like the same girl the pint-sized actor took to the 2008 MTV Movie Awards, though I’m not really sure.

And it looks like they’re starting to get big money offers for it. Adult rental sales site Sugar DVD has said it is ready to fork out a hundred grand for the sex tape, which reportedly has oral sex and close-up shots of Mini-Me’s mini-me.

Ugh. That’s it. I’m skipping breakfast.

This is probably the mother of all celebrity sex tapes. Or the grandmother, if you will.

The New York Post reports that a sex tape, or rather, a sex film (tapes didn’t exist during her heyday) starring our granddads’ object of lust, Marilyn Monroe, has just been sold to a New York businessman for $1.5 million.

Shot in the late 1950s, the silent, black and white film, whose purchase was brokered by its discoverer, the well-known memorabilia collector Keya Morgan, shows Monroe performing oral sex on an unidentified man.

The footage appears to have been shot in the 1950s. When it came to light in the mid-’60s, then-FBI Director J. Edgar Hoover had his agents spend two weeks futilely trying to prove that Monroe’s sex partner was either John F. Kennedy or Robert F. Kennedy, according to declassified agency documents and interviews, Morgan said.

The silent black-and-white flick shows Monroe on her knees in front of a man whose face is just out of the shot.

He never moves into the shot, indicating that he knew the camera was there, but Monroe never looks at the lens, said Morgan, who saw the footage.

The really annoying thing about this is that the buyer apparently bought the footage to keep it from being made public. He should realize that it’s part of history, and that he owes it to the geriatrics in this world to at least let them see their long-dead fantasy come to life giving life to some unidentified bastard’s wiener before they bite the big one themselves.

Finally, an A-List celebrity is the “star” of the latest celebrity sex tape to surface. Well, that is, if you consider a stint in a highly-successful TV show, but nothing else afterwards save for an upcoming movie based on said highly-successful TV show, as a prerequisite to A-list celebrity status.

Rumors that a celebrity sex tape featuring “Sex and the City” star Kristin Davis are swirling all over the Internets, accompanied by some pics showing Davis in a number of nasty poses, included two giving some guy head.

But according to TMZ, there isn’t exactly a sex tape.

TMZ has learned that approximately 20 salacious photos dating back five years have re-surfaced featuring what looks like Davis in several compromising positions. We hear the pics were taken by an ex-boyfriend and are now being shopped by a broker from California.

Naturally, Davis’s rep has denied that the woman in the NSFW pics, which you can see here, is Davis. You be the judge, but I am telling you, the resemblance is uncanny. Then again, that’s just my desire for these pictures to be the real thing talking. After all, the best we’ve gotten in the past few months are celebrity sex tapes featuring plastic surgery nightmares, murderous skanks, and aging long-tongued rockers, so you can’t really blame me.

Now this would definitely create some buzz around the big-screen version of SATC, which is due out in May. What’s next, a carpet-munching sex tape featuring Cynthia Nixon? Now that would be extremely worth watching.

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This is either the unsexiest celebrity sex tape of all time or the most desperate publicity ploy ever for an energy drink.

Photos and a short clip of a sex tape purportedly showing KISS rocker Gene Simmons doing the deed with an Austrian model named “Elsa” are being peddled at a website called GenesSecret.com (link NSFW). Both Gene and “Elsa” also happen to be spokespersons for Frank’s Energy Drink, says AVN. The site charges $9.95 for a one-day trial and $29.95 for a monthly subscription.

Why anyone would pay that much to see a 58-year old bump uglies with an obviously hot, young woman is beyond me. Some may do so just to be able to see that infamous Gene Simmons tongue in action after all these years, but I’m pretty certain it wouldn’t be a pretty sight. Not even if the woman in the tape was Simmons’ live-in girlfriend, former Playboy Playmate Shannon Tweed. Well, maybe if the woman was Tweed…

The world needs a celebrity sex tape starring a halfway decent looking celebrity. The celebrity sex tapes that have surfaced lately star either a frustrated murderess or ugly white trash, and it’s getting annoying already.

Vivica A. Fox, she of the big tush and the really bad boob job, reportedly has a sex tape where she can be seen on all fours, apparently drunk as hell, and orally servicing some unidentified Atlanta jerk who recorded the whole act on his cell phone. And he didn’t stop there. Proud of his conquest, the man emailed the video to his friends. That’s one cold-hearted mother! Now if he was only smart enough to sell it to Vivid or whatever porn company that buys this kind of crap and he would have made oodles of money.

Anyways, the tape eventually was emailed to Vivica, who then forwarded the whole thing to a friend of hers who works with Atlanta PD. So I guess that means we won’t be seeing the tape, whose existence was confirmed by a popular Atlanta DJ named Porsche Foxx (sounds like a pornstar), anytime soon, unless some charitable soul forwards us the email that’s already doing the rounds.

For now, just check out Vivica and her tush in that famous stripper scene of hers in “Independence Day”.

UPDATE: There’s a video that people think is the Vivica Fox sex tape. Can’t be sure, really, the video being PG-rated (someone blocked out the good part), but the deed being done is pretty obvious, and therefore kinda NSFW. Click here if you care.

Yes, the Winona Ryder sex tape that hit the net recently is as much a sex tape as the Eva Longoria sex video is. It was made to make people laugh, although how many people actually did is subject to debate.

Actually, the Winona Ryder “sex tape” is a promo clip for Winona’s upcoming movie “The Ten”. In it, you’ll see Wino clad in a bra humping a ventriloquist’s doll in bed complete with the requisite moans of ecstasy, as well as giving it a handjob while driving. Maybe it’ll be more of a turn-on if we close our eyes and just listen to Winona scream like she’s actually having fun. Come to think of it, maybe she really is having fun. After all, that dummy is made of pure, hard wood.

Another day, another celebrity sex tape. This time, it’s another real-life bad girl like Amy Fisher who the world will soon see doing the nasty on video.

According to TMZ, a major porn company is now preparing to distribute sometime beore Christmas a sex tape featuring “American Idol” Season 4 loser Jessica Sierra, the same skank who was arrested in April for throwing a cocktail glass at a male patron in a South Tampa nightclub, and who was busted again last week for being such a drunken mess and offered to give the arresting officer a blowjob if he let her go. The officer of course didn’t take her up on her offer, probably because he didn’t want vomit all over his crotch.

If all that, and the screencap above courtesy of TMZ are any indication, it’s safe to say that yep, it’s going to be real classy, this one.

It also happens to be “the greatest celebrity sex tape ever made” according to Fleshbot, in a review of the DVD, which features the so-called “Long Island Lolita” and ex-husband Lou Bellera in several porn-worthy sex scenes.

Amy Fisher: Caught on Tape is the greatest celebrity sex tape ever made. It’s like an Adam & Eve MILF movie because Fisher is actually a mom and her partner in several scenes, Bellera, is a gray-haired dude in his late fifties, which is central casting fodder for guys in instructional videos.

The next few weeks will reveal whatever sordid or useless stories there are of how the tape came to light, but as a porn movie, Amy Fisher, Caught on Tape is leagues better than the efforts of Screech, Paris, Colin Ferrell, Your mom, Pam Anderson I & II, and Kim Kardashian.

Guess that ought to earn the Amy Fisher sex tape a spot in our most hardcore celebrity sex tapes list then. Now Fisher is said to be considering legal action, but we all know that’s BS. In the end, she’ll end up with a lot of moolah, like most of those celebrity sex tape stars do.

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