OK, so 2 or 3 of them have middle names that could actually pass for a guy’s, but most of them probably had to do everything they can to avoid writing down their full names when they were kids. I mean, Lynn? Allison? TIFFANY? God, their parents really must have hated them.

1. Matt Damon
Full Name: Matthew Paige Damon

2. Eddie Murphy
Full Name: Edward Regan Murphy

3. Quincy Jones
Full Name: Quincy Delight Jones Jr.

4. Alec Baldwin
Full Name: Alexander Rae Baldwin III

5. Chris Penn
Full Name: Christopher Shannon Penn

6. Drew Carey
Full Name: Drew Allison Carey

7. Nicolas Cage
Full Name: Nicolas Kim Coppola

8. Woody Harrelson
Full Name: Woodrow Tracy Harrelson

9. Jeff Goldblum
Full Name: Jeffrey Lynn Goldblum

10. Richard Gere
Full Name: Richard Tiffany Gere

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Here are 29 one-named musicians and their real names.

1. Jewel – Jewel Kilcher

2. Eminem – Marshall Bruce Mathers III

3. Sting – Gordon Matthew Thomas Sumner

4. Bjork – Björk Guðmundsdóttir

5. Selena – Selena Quintanilla-Pérez

6. Coolio – Artis Leon Ivey, Jr.

7. Ashanti – Ashanti Shequoiya Douglas

8. Pink – Alecia Beth Moore

9. Madonna – Madonna Louise Ciccone Ritchie

10. Beyonce – Beyoncé Giselle Knowles

11. Shakira – Shakira Isabel Mebarak Ripoll

12. Enya – Eithne Patricia Ní Bhraonáin

13. Brandy – Brandy Rayana Norwood

14. Seal – Seal Henry Olusegun Olumide Adeola Samuel

15. Slash – Saul Hudson

16. Tiffany – Tiffany Renee Darwish

17. Bono – Paul David Hewson

18. Beck – Bek David Campbell

19. Flea – Michael Peter Balzary

20. Yanni – Yiannis Hrysomallis

21. Liberace – Wladziu Valentino Liberace

22. Usher – Usher Raymond IV

23. Aaliyah – Aaliyah Dana Haughton

24. Moby – Richard Melville Hall

25. Cher – Cherilyn Sarkisian

26. Chingy – Howard Bailey, Jr

27. Mýa – Mýa Marie Harrison

28. Sisqo – Mark Althavan Andrews

29. Prince – Prince Rogers Nelson

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Some of the celebrity real names listed below sound so plain you could mistake them for a next-door neighbor, while others sound too foreign to have any sort of name recall in the highly-competitive world of show business. This list of the Ten Least Celebrity-sounding Celebrity Real Names is by no means definitive, so feel free to add any other real celebrity name you think should be on the list.

10. Woody Allen
Real Name: Allen Stewart Konigsberg

9. Meg Ryan
Real Name: Margaret Mary Emily Anne Hyra

8. Tom Cruise
Real Name: Thomas Cruise Mapother IV

7. Michael Caine
Real Name: Maurice Joseph Micklewhite

6. Ben Kingsley
Real Name: Krishna Banji

5. George Michael
Real Name: Georgios Kyriacos Panayiotou

4. Jennifer Aniston
Real Name: Jennifer Linn Anastassakis

3. Jenna Elfman
Real Name: Jennifer Mary Butala

2. Kirk Douglas
Real Name: Issur Danielovitch Demsky

The number one spot belongs to Senegalese-American hip-hop and R&B singer Akon, and rightly so. Let’s say his real name, all together now:

Aliaune Damala Bouga Time Puru Nacka Lu Lu Lu Badara Akon Thiam

Now we know the story behind the lone stage name.