9 Sex Fetishes You Probably Didn’t Know Existed

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So you’ve read the Kama Sutra, or whatever ancient book about sex there is. I doubt, however, that these books ever had something like “frozen pudding pop” or “red wings” listed in their pages. Because no matter how imaginative or creative the writers of these old sex guides may have been, they’re no match to the capability of modern man to come up with the most perverse, some even sick, ways of pleasuring themselves during sex. Taking you far, far beyond the average booty call, here are some of them:

1. Red Wings

Cunnilingus on a menstruating woman. Bloody hell.

2. The Burning Bush

This one is appropriately named, because a burning bush is literally what happens when a man dips his willie in hot sauce, then penetrates a woman vaginally. Let’s see these pervs try this act with sauce made of the Bhut Jolokia, listed by Guinness as the hottest chili in the world.

3. Taco Fondue

A woman’s vagina is stuffed with cheese, then the man’s dong stuffs the vagina, pulled out with bits and pieces of cheese stuck on it, then put into a woman’s mouth. Talk about cheese sticks.

4. Ol' Faithful

Remember all those videos that hit the Internets last year, where douchebags stuff bottles full of Coke with Mentos and make their own mini-geysers? This is a little something like that. A can of Coke is poured into a woman’s vagina, a Mentos is shoved in, and…..nah, you know what happens next.

5. The Pillsbury Doughgirl

This sex act gives hope to very fat women everywhere, because there are guys who actually enjoy sliding their members in between their stomach folds.

6. Frozen Pudding Pop

Both straight and gay people can enjoy this one, where ice is put on a receiver’s bunghole, which the giver then penetrates while it’s all chilled, tight and puckered up from the cold.

7. Eye Balled

Let’s put this one under “sick”. What possible sexual pleasure could a person with a glass eye get from some guy taking the fake eye out and penetrating the empty socket with his penis?

8. The Dick Van Dyke

Simply put, a straight guy’s schlong put into a lesbian’s coochie.

9. The Streisand Stuffer

Men with very small penises, don’t fret: the Streisand Stuffer is just for you. Just stuff your tiny member up a person's nostril, and voila! You’re getting laid. This also works for regular-sized guys, as long as their partners have very large noses.

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8 Responses to “9 Sex Fetishes You Probably Didn’t Know Existed”

  1. no 7 is just seriously wrong

  2. honeycomb- use honey as lube can give head both before and after works well annd tastes great.

  3. 7. Eye Balled

    Let’s put this one under “sick”. What possible sexual pleasure could a person with a glass eye get from some guy taking the fake eye out and penetrating the empty socket with his penis?

    SKULL FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!

  4. figging- peeling ginger root and shoving it up someone’s ass, then spanking them to make their ass constrict around the ginger root, and burn

    the good doctor- having a girl sit in a gyno chair and cumming while probing her with a speculum

    pony- harnessing a chick (usually) and riding her around the room until sexually satisfied- oh, and chick actually whinnies and snorts.

    diapering- a man or woman dressing in a diaper and acting like a baby- sexual satisfaction can come from changing the diaper, or breastfeeding if the woman is lactating- basically one plays parent and the other plays infant.

    asphyxiphilia- sexual satisfaction from being strangled or strangling (ideally, not to death, but it happens, particularly in auto-asphyxiphilia)

    dacryphilia- sexual arousal by the sight or sound of your lover crying or yourself being made to cry- sexual gratification by causing your lover to cry or being made to cry

    furry sex- being aroused by another dressed up in a costume, engaging in sex while being dressed in a costume (think, barney the dinosaur banging your high school football mascot.)

    umm… i should stop here. having knowledge does not constitute guilt! (well, okay, maybe five and six).

  5. BACKDOOR TSUNAMI…..is when you are giving hard anal to your partner and while you are inside you urinate

  6. KENTUCKY SNEEZE……..is delivering a powerful WET fart in partners face durring intercourse.

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