9 Sex Fetishes You Probably Didn’t Know Existed
So you’ve read the Kama Sutra, or whatever ancient book about sex there is. I doubt, however, that these books ever had something like “frozen pudding pop” or “red wings” listed in their pages. Because no matter how imaginative or creative the writers of these old sex guides may have been, they’re no match to the capability of modern man to come up with the most perverse, some even sick, ways of pleasuring themselves during sex. Taking you far, far beyond the average booty call, here are some of them:
1. Red Wings
Cunnilingus on a menstruating woman. Bloody hell.
2. The Burning Bush
This one is appropriately named, because a burning bush is literally what happens when a man dips his willie in hot sauce, then penetrates a woman vaginally. Let’s see these pervs try this act with sauce made of the Bhut Jolokia, listed by Guinness as the hottest chili in the world.
3. Taco Fondue
A woman’s vagina is stuffed with cheese, then the man’s dong stuffs the vagina, pulled out with bits and pieces of cheese stuck on it, then put into a woman’s mouth. Talk about cheese sticks.
4. Ol' Faithful
Remember all those videos that hit the Internets last year, where douchebags stuff bottles full of Coke with Mentos and make their own mini-geysers? This is a little something like that. A can of Coke is poured into a woman’s vagina, a Mentos is shoved in, and…..nah, you know what happens next.
5. The Pillsbury Doughgirl
This sex act gives hope to very fat women everywhere, because there are guys who actually enjoy sliding their members in between their stomach folds.
6. Frozen Pudding Pop
Both straight and gay people can enjoy this one, where ice is put on a receiver’s bunghole, which the giver then penetrates while it’s all chilled, tight and puckered up from the cold.
7. Eye Balled
Let’s put this one under “sick”. What possible sexual pleasure could a person with a glass eye get from some guy taking the fake eye out and penetrating the empty socket with his penis?
8. The Dick Van Dyke
Simply put, a straight guy’s schlong put into a lesbian’s coochie.
9. The Streisand Stuffer
Men with very small penises, don’t fret: the Streisand Stuffer is just for you. Just stuff your tiny member up a person's nostril, and voila! You’re getting laid. This also works for regular-sized guys, as long as their partners have very large noses.
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