9 Lying Tips
Show me a man who says he has never told a lie his entire life and I’ll show you a liar. That’s right. Everybody lies. It is even said that most people tell at least one lie a day, whether they’re lying to save their asses from getting fired or lying about a friend’s horrible dress so as not to hurt her feelings.
Now lying was a pretty tough thing for Pinocchio, whose story of course you already know. We’re lucky our noses don’t grow an inch or so with every fib, but our eyes, tone of voice, body language and other factors can still pretty much give us away. There is a definite technique to lying, and there are liars out there who have telling lies down to an art. While not all of us can be con artists or good actors, there are a few lying basics which could come in handy when you find yourself in a tight spot, say, you were late for work or you weren’t able to do tasks you were supposed to do. Here are some of them:
1. Maintain eye contact – This one’s pretty obvious. Most people believe that people who can’t look them in the eye while talking to them must be lying. So concentrate most of your efforts on looking straight into a person’s eyes when fibbing, then you’ll have better chances of getting away with it.
2. Try talking in a monotone - Now telling your lie in a monotone may sound boring, but sounding boring arouses less suspicion.
3. Keep the body language down - Scratching your nose, tapping or shaking your foot a little too much, or any kind of fidgeting are signs of nervousness and discomfort, both of which in turn can be construed as signs that you may be lying.
4. Speak clearly - Unless you’ve got a speech impediment, try to tell your lie in a clear and coherent manner. Stammer, mumble and clear your throat every five seconds and the jig’s up.
5. Keep the lie short - In other words, don’t exaggerate or elaborate too much on the lie, because somewhere along the way, the details might get mixed up, then you’re done.
6. Stick to the subject - Sometimes, people try to test if a person is lying to them by abruptly changing the subject, then see if he or she goes right along with it. When the one you’re lying to does this, express surprise at the sudden change in subject, and say that you want to get back to the original topic and get it over and done with.
7. Don’t be too defensive - One thing about liars, the bad ones at least, is that they tend to be overly defensive when they’re asked questions about their story. Most easily get rattled, and even accuse the interrogator of lying. Doing so only shows you’ve got something to hide.
8. Wipe that stupid grin off your face - Some people have this inexplicable tendency to grin like a fool when they’re nervous, like when they’re about to tell a lie. Keep those facial muscles in check, or the one you’re talking to will be wondering why you were wearing a grin the whole time you were telling a supposedly sad story/excuse.
9. Don’t cross your fingers behind your back - It’s extremely stupid, and could only get you caught even if you’ve got the whole lie down pat.
These should work fairly well, but if the person you’re lying to is a human lie detector, like Robert de Niro’s character in “Meet the Parents”, then you’re in deep s__t.
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