8 Things I Like About Transformers: Dark of the Moon
It’s official. Michael Bay is this generation’s Ed Wood. The only difference between the two is that the former has an astronomically bigger budget to make bad movies with, and sadly, an astronomically bigger gross at the box office, thanks to suckers like us.
There are just too many things wrong with Transformers: Dark of the Moon that they can actually be desensitizing, especially when the entire Internet is filled with nothing but loathing for it. So, for the sake of positivity, which my shrink says I need loads of, I’m listing the things that I actually DID LIKE about the movie, terrible filmmaking notwithstanding.
For those fortunate enough not to have seen the latest (and thankfully, THE LAST) Transformers movie yet but are still planning to go, some SPOILERS AHEAD.
1. Alan Tudyk
Sci-fi TV and Joss Whedon fave Tudyk plays John Turturro’s effete assistant Dutch, who for the briefest of moments channels his character Alpha from the now-cancelled series Dollhouse and transforms into a badass.
2. People are actually getting offed onscreen
Sure, there were some deaths in the first two movies, but this is actually the first time you see people actually bite it, when they get vaporized instantly a la War of the Worlds as Decepticons hit them with direct fire.
3. Rosie Huntington-Whitely
A supermodel with the acting talent of the runway she regularly sashays on, she is, for me, actually hotter than Megan Fox. Kinda reminds me of a young Cameron Diaz in The Mask.
4. The special effects. Duh.
5. Ken Jeong
Whether he’s playing a medieval live action RPG king or a naked Chinese gangster locked in a car trunk, Jeong will always be a hoot, even when his few minutes in this movie ended when he was shoved by a Decepticon through an office window and onto the pavement a few hundred or so feet below.
6. Patrick Dempsey as a bad guy
And a really bad bad guy at that, because McDreamy’s selling everybody, and I mean EVERYBODY, out to the Decepticons.
7. That random wind-blown newspaper that smacked Patrick Dempsey right in the face as he was monologuing.
8. The chance for a nap
This movie was extremely DULL in certain stretches that I actually found myself catching much-needed zzzs inside the theater.
How about you? Got anything nice to say about DOTM?
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