7 Reasons Why Paris Hilton Was Crying
We all saw that Paris Hilton is human after all, crying and calling for her mom as the judge ruled that her ass be thrown back in the slammer and serve the full 45 days of her sentence. Going to jail naturally sucks, but I wonder what really turned the waterworks on? After all, Paris has been through some of the most embarrassing and humiliating events a person could go through, but we never saw her shed a tear until now. Here are seven possible reasons why Paris was crying as she was dragged back to jail:
1. She had to blow L.A. County Sheriff Lee Baca to get house arrest and still she goes to jail. That was nasty, even for Paris.
2. She doesn’t want to part with her ankle monitor, since she’s already using it as a sex toy.
3. She and her equally dumb friends were already plotting revenge on Sarah Silverman for mocking her at the MTV movie awards. Now she’ll have to wait for weeks before she exacts vengeance on the comic by getting her banned from all clubs in LA or something typically Parisian.
4. She was crying because she called the jail beforehand and learned that the joke cracked by Sarah Silverman about the guards giving her special treatment by painting the jail bars for her cell as penises could never become a reality.
5. Valtrex is hard to come by in prison.
6. Realized that God wasn’t fooled by pictures of her going about clutching a Bible a little over a week before she first reported to jail.
7. This one’s reportedly true: she’s scared of peeing in jail because some wacko might point a camera at her while she’s sitting on her throne doing her thing. What the hell is she afraid of? She wasn’t scared when she videotaped herself exchanging DNA with Rick Solomon, so what more harm can pics of her peeing or shitting do?
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