10 Things We Hate About American Idol

The recent demonstration of Paula Abdul’s clairvoyant powers on American Idol (in case you’ve been living under a rock, she criticized finalist Jason Castro last week for a song he hadn’t performed yet) has put to the fore many of the things that we’ve come to hate about the show, especially this season. Eye candy this season’s batch may be, the same thing couldn’t be said about the show itself. Here are 10 things that we hate about a show that we, ironically enough, just couldn’t stop watching.

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1. Paula Abdul

When was the last time we heard her speak a single coherent sentence that actually made any sense? Or saw her stay in her seat during an upbeat number to really listen to the performance and judge it accordingly? Pressing the “mute” button every time she starts rambling has become common practice among us viewers, because listening to her speak is just plain excruciating.

2. Randy Jackson

Please, bring in someone whose music vocabulary consists of more than just “too pitchy”, “that was the bomb!” or you were in the zone, baby!”.

3. The annoying banter between the judges and the host

A complete waste of time, especially when Ryan Seacrest and Simon Cowell start trading “gay” barbs. The show is supposedly about the Idols, not about what the judges and the host do outside the show.

4. The focus on crazy wannabes during the auditions

The “magic” of William Hung is long gone. Now the sight of even weirder contestants whose only talent is making fools of themselves on TV for the sake of making fools of themselves on TV is downright ghastly. It’s just not funny anymore.

5. The instrument playing

Get a mediocre singer to play his or her own instruments and chances are, you’ll get mediocre instrument-playing as well. That’s something we all learned this season.

6. Old “mentors”

Dolly Parton? Andrew Lloyd Webber? Neil Diamond? Mariah Carey was a nice touch, though. Now how about getting “mentors” that younger people, who make up the bulk of Idol voters (and buy albums as well) actually know?

7. All those cheesy Ford videos

This is a case of the show’s major sponsor milking the finalists for whatever they’re worth, and we highly doubt they’re getting paid for those cheeky ads. Sure, it’s a trip for the finalists being all costumed up and “acting” for the cameras, but wouldn’t that time be better spent perfecting their songs for performance night? No wonder most of the performances have been really disappointing this season.

8. The phoned-in questions

This is another portion introduced this season that should be scrapped from the next one. No one really cares to know if Simon is a good kisser, and all those beauty pageant questions directed at the finalists only make a boring results show all the more dragging.

9. The lengthy results show

There was a time when the results show was all about the results. Now there’s extended recaps of the previous episode, cheesy group numbers, pointless phoned-in questions, tepid performances from Idol alumni and various pop artists, and long features about various stuff that we have to sit through before we get to what actually matters.

10. The fake hand-waving every time a ballad comes on

Just who are these people in the Idol “mosh pit”? Are they being paid to wave their hands every single time someone sings a power ballad? Sure, the whole show is one big pop music factory and therefore everything about it is manufactured, but manufacturing “admiring” throngs is just a bit too much.

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